The Corner Report

from: Circus Isreal
http://circusisrael.blogspot.com/2009/11/now-everybody-poops-in-hebrew-japanese.html

Japanese author Taro Gomi’s beloved children’s book, Everyone Poops, will soon be available in Hebrew. The book candidly and delightfully presents defecation as a natural bodily function performed by virtually every sentient life form on our shared planet. In Everyone Poops, eliminating waste is unselfconscious, essential and nothing to be ashamed of. From North America to the Pacific Rim, Gomi’s charming illustrations and simple text have enabled parents and children alike to comfortably explore life’s elemental processes. The Hebrew translation of Everyone Poops was prepared under the auspices of the Adelson Institute for Strategic Studies at the Shalem Center in Jerusalem. According to AISS spokesperson and noted PTSD sufferer Natan Sharansky, a “handful of revisions” were made to Gomi’s work, to remove the “new anti-semitism” implicit in its contents. Circus Israel obtained an early review copy from Sharansky by nodding gravely at everything he said. The full text of the book appears below.

Everyone poops.
Jews poop.
Their poop is Chosen.

Israeli Jews poop best of all.
Their poop nourishes the desert and makes it bloom.
Their poop has natural growth
and its own special wall
to keep other poop away.

Hebrews pooped in Jerusalem thousands of years ago,
so nobody else should poop in Jerusalem today.
Armenians should send their poop to Armenia.
Catholics should poop in the Vatican.
Muslims over 50 can poop in a tiny part of old Jerusalem,
then disappear forever.

Arabs poop.
On other people’s land.
Israel makes them stop and wait
all day long
just to check their poop.
Sometimes Palestinians won’t poop at all,
so the world will feel sorry for them.
In Gaza, the IDF pooped on their floors
for security reasons.
In Hebron, the settlers dump poop on their homes
for security reasons.
Sometimes the Palestinians get so mad
their poop explodes.
That poop comes from Iran.

Richard Goldstone talked poop about Israel.
His report is perverted bullpoop.
Israel’s military poop is the most moral military poop in the world.
Here’s a syllogism about Richard Goldstone and poop:
Richard Goldstone poops.
Anti-semites poop.
Ergo, Richard Goldstone is an anti-semite.

Europeans poop.
It’s all they do.
Americans poop.
They show it to everybody,
with a big proud smile.
The Hindus in India poop
and they set it on fire.
Canadians just hold their poop inside.

Everyone eats.
So everyone poops.
The Europeans and the Americans
and the Indians and the Canadians
all like the flavor
of Israel’s poop.

By Emily

... on grounds that of the Quran, this MP, and this MP's hair, the hair is most banworthy.

Kabobfest

White phophorus, fired in a shell, can be used to hide troop movements or illuminate targets [AFP]

Human Rights Watch has called on Israel to stop using white phosphorus which it says has been used in military operations in the densely populated Gaza Strip.

The US-based group said that its researchers observed the use of the chemical, which can burn away human flesh to the bone, over Gaza City and Jabaliya on Friday and Saturday.

"We went by Israeli artillery units that had white phosphorus rounds with the fuses in them," Marc Garlasco, a senior military analyst at Human Rights Watch, told Al Jazeera.

=> Read more!

By DAVE LINDORFF

When Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zaidi heaved his two shoes at the head of President George W. Bush during a press conference in Baghdad, he did something that the White House press corps should have done years ago.

Al-Zaidi listened to Bush blather that the half-decade of war he had initiated with the illegal invasion of Iraq had been “necessary for US security, Iraqi stability (sic) and world peace” and something just snapped. The television correspondent, who had been kidnapped and held for a while last year by Shiite militants, pulled off a shoe and threw it at Bush—a serious insult in Iraqi culture—and shouted “This is a farewell kiss, you dog!” When the first shoe missed its target, he grabbed a second shoe and heaved it too, causing the president to duck a second time as al-Zaidi shouted, “This is from the widows, the orphans, and those who were killed in Iraq!”

=> Read more!

The Prize of the Hoze Honari
First Prize: Allesandro Gatto/Italy

The Capitol

The tenants of the Capitol

How many members of the US Congress and/or the US Senate know the answers to the following 10 questions:

=> Read more!

Demonstrators from the group World Cant Wait hold a mock waterboarding torture of a prisioner in Times Square

By Catherine Philp

It was a good day to bury bad news. As millions of Americans were glued to the most exciting presidential race in living memory, the Bush Administration admitted publicly for the first time that it had used the simulated drowning technique of waterboarding on terror suspects in its custody.

=> Read more!

"Tell me whom have you visited and then I shall tell you who you are!" -- a 21st Century Proverb by Sherlock Hommos, PhD.


First:
George went to visit Israel which is composed of two parts:
the stolen and the occupied. ..and which has two kind of inhabitants:
the colonising-settlers and the occupied-oppressed.

=> Read more!

The US to Israel: It's time to go home and take a nap, now
(Hamed Najeeb, Alittihad, 1/28/06).

TEXAS -- HOME OF THE TOP BANANA

A Montreal artist wants to construct an enormous banana that would float over Texas, but critics say the project isn't worth government funding.

=> Read more!

Fashion-challenged reporter ends up with Abramoff's abandoned Sabatini suits

News Washington Bureau reporter M.E. Sprengelmeyer now seems well-suited for any occasion. (Photo by
Thomas Michael Corcoran)

By M.E. Sprengelmeyer

Please permit me to be charitable with myself. I'm larger than I should be and not what one would call a snappy dresser.

If you know me, stop laughing.

=> Read more!

BUSH: Where’ve you bin pal?

Mush: In the Line of Fire.

=> Read more!

Joking about the Nazi regime could be costly

A new book and film on humour under the Third Reich, Heil Hitler, The Pig is Dead!, reveal the subversive jokes average Germans dared to whisper while the Nazis had the country in a stranglehold.

Hitler and his chauffeur take a drive in the countryside. All of a sudden, boom! They drive over a chicken. Hitler tells the chauffeur, "We have to tell the farmer. Let me do it. I'm the Fuehrer, he'll understand." After two minutes, Hitler runs back holding his backside - the farmer had given him a thrashing. The two drive on. Again, boom! They run into a pig. Hitler barks, "You go to the farmer this time!" The chauffeur follows his orders but comes back a half an hour later, falling-down drunk with a basket filled with sausages and presents. Hitler is stunned. "What did you tell the farmer?" And the chauffeur says, "I just said, 'Heil Hitler, the pig is dead!' and they gave me these gifts!"

=> Read more!

Lebanese joke about Israelis, Americans, Arabs and themselves

Lebanese may have lost homes, loved ones and livelihoods, but one thing they have not lost in the aftermath of the war is their legendary sense of humour.

In a country that has repeatedly been invaded by Israel, the one joke everyone likes to tell remains:
An Israeli recently arrives at London's Heathrow airport. As he fills out a form, the customs officer asks him: "Occupation?"
The Israeli promptly replies: "No, just visiting!"

=> Read more!

By Molly Ivins

AUSTIN, Texas -- The most cunning refinement yet in the administration's plot to scare the liver, lights and onions out of us with Tales of Terror Plots is the Department of Homeland Security's brilliant move to declare Indiana the national center of terrorism, with 8,591 potential targets.

=> Read more!

Satire from The Onion

WASHINGTON, DC—Despite more than four centuries of the erosion of their native society, a large majority of First Nations peoples still maintain their culture's traditional beliefs about Caucasians, which were handed down by previous generations, according to a study released by the U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs Monday.

=> Read more!

A mega bite in the true sense of the word

An upmarket London department store has unveiled what it says is the UK's most expensive sandwich - but at $148 (£85) the price tag will be too much for most hungry shoppers to swallow.

=> Read more!

A Shanghai man vowed to sell his soul to the highest bidder

In an episode of the Simpsons, Homer once sold his soul to the Devil for a donut. A man in China has now tried to attract a far higher price by going online.

=> Read more!

Photo from www.veer.com

OSH, Kyrgyzstan _ Rooster in the Kyrgyz city of Osh has started to call out the name of Allah instead of crowing. The rooster’s owner, Ibragim Ismatullayev, quoted by Fergana.Ru news website said the bird did it every day.

=> Read more!

Q: How many Bush administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

The Simpsons are household names all over the world

Americans know more about The Simpsons TV show than the US Constitution's First Amendment, an opinion poll says.

=> Read more!

By Riverbend: Girl Blog from Iraq
... I'll meet you 'round the bend my friend, where hearts can heal and souls can mend...

BAGHDAD, Iraq _ It’s Oscar time once again. We’ve been bombarded with Oscar propaganda for nearly a month now. MBC and One TV (a channel from the Emirates) have been promising us live Oscar coverage since January. It seems like all the interviews and programs for the last week at least have been about the Oscars- Barbara Walters, Oprah, Inside Edition, Entertainment Tonight- it’s an endless stream of Oscar nominees and analysts.

=> Read more!

To view the video of The Quail's Press Conference, follow the link below, scroll down the right side menu, and and click on "Supernews: Cheney Hunting Incident."

The Quail's Press Conference